Abuse and neglect ofttimes happen generation after generation. It always bothered me to think that someone who was abused in any form; could turn around and do the same thing to their own children. I was determined if I had children, I wouldn’t abuse them the way my parents abused me. I broke that ugly cycle of abuse in my family. Continue reading “Cycle of Abuse”
None of us shares exactly the same view on spirituality or have the same spiritual experiences. Some of you do not believe there is a God or a “Higher Power.” However, I think we all can get in touch with how we feel when we see a beautiful sunset, a desert, an ocean for the first time, a mountain range or just a walk in nature. We are surrounded by beauty and life, and there is a power that is responsible for all of it. Concentrate on what you feel when you experience one of his wonders I’ve mentioned above. Take those wonderful feelings and awe and allow them to become your Higher Power. Continue reading “Who Does God Help?”
Are you one of those women that never tells anyone no? Are you a people pleaser? If you answered yes to one of those questions, please read on. Sexual abuse breeds people pleasers who cannot say no even to sex! I know, I was one of those women. If I would have told one of my parents no, they would have broken me in half. I didn’t even think about telling anyone no because it would make a bad situation even worse. Continue reading “Can’t Say “No?””
Addictions among child abuse victims are common. Addictions help us to escape the pain and numb us. But, there will be no recovery if you cannot experience your feelings. It is not uncommon for a survivor to have multiple addictions; some more dangerous and life-threatening than others.
Over the span of my life, I have had many addictions: alcohol, nicotine, sugar, sex, cannabis, shopping, over-achieving and toxic relationships. I am in recovery from alcohol, nicotine, sex, and toxic relationships. Was it difficult—absolutely. But, it is also very freeing, and you’ll experience such a sense of accomplishment. Continue reading “Why We Are Addicts”
I vividly recall the rage I felt after my memories of abuse resurfaced. Which is a “normal,” expected emotion you should feel toward your abuser or predator. They committed a crime against you—an ofttimes violent violation. We have every right in the world to be good and ticked off! Continue reading “Anger & Rage”
There are five stages to the grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Rarely, do you ever go through them as they are listed above and some people will go back and revisit one of the stages before they move on. Grieving is a very personal thing and no one should be told “how to” grieve. But, grieve we must. Continue reading “Stop to Grieve Your Loss”
The vast majority of child abuse victims believe their abuse was their fault–if only they’d been stronger, if they would have behaved or not lied, if they would have said no, and the list goes on. Maybe your abuser even told you it was your fault. My father told me I was bad and would accuse me of lying and doing things I didn’t do. He would say, “I have to punish you—you’ve made me. I can’t allow you to do things that are wrong or lie and do nothing about it. But, I will keep it our secret; and don’t you tell it.” He would threaten me with killing my pony, or my mother if I told anyone about our secrets. Continue reading “The Child Is Never to Blame”
Finding a therapist that is right for you can be a daunting task, but do not give up. You will find what you are looking for if you search with persistence. There are many different types of therapy (cognitive, behavioral, psychotherapy, behavioral, solution-oriented, or family oriented, etc); so you may want to do some research and first decide what type of therapy you think would work best for you. Continue reading “Finding a Therapist”
For many survivors of childhood sexual abuse, it is extremely difficult to accept “yes, my abuse really did happen.” We spend our lives shoving it down deep inside of us; keeping it from our conscious minds, and then when we remember, or memories of the abuse come flooding back into our conscious minds we do not want to believe it is true. Continue reading “Accepting It Really Happened”
Child abuse destroys lives. If you suspect your child is being abused, or you know your child has been abused you will need the expertise of the professionals to treat the child as soon as possible to prevent acute problems in the future. If you are an adult survivor of child abuse, you too, need to seek the help from professionals to guide you through the healing process.
A multitude of child abuse treatment professionals are available to assist you on your road to recovery. You need a professional to assess your child’s needs, or your needs to access the damage done and to make recommendations for treatment. The following is a list of professionals you can turn to that will see you through the process of healing: primary care doctor’s recommendations, psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers. Continue reading “Seek Out Professional Help”