Editor’s Note: The following article is an excerpt from my manuscript detailing my own abuse. Please see “My Story of Abuse” under the category link.
After months of badgering by a friend, I joined a single parents organization believing I would be discussing and receiving suggestions on being a single parent. But, it turned out it was more of a dating group than anything else. This group would have a five-minute meeting and discuss conferences being held around the country, then, they were off to a lounge for drinking and dancing.
I wasn’t looking for another man, so I had a few female counterparts that would sit together and talk about our children and the bastards they’d divorced. Eligible, desirable men was another hot-button topic. If a man wasn’t well off, they didn’t want him. It would appear as though they were looking for a sugar-daddy. It really was not the best place in the world for me to be, but it was getting me out and amongst people. I loved to dance and by this time, loved my wine.
After being involved with them for a few months, a man by the name of Broch (no kidding) asked me out. I noticed him before, and before I knew his name he reminded me of Broch. I thought it was meant to be. I was extremely nervous like a sixteen-year-old when he asked me out. He said, “I know you haven’t been out on a date yet, and I would love the honor.” So, I smiled and said yes.
He took me to a wonderful place for dinner and dancing. He was an excellent dancer and decided to teach me how to do “dirty dancing,” which he was quite good at. We attempted that after he brought me home—not such a good idea.
He was a wonderful first date, minus the dirty dancing part. We went out a couple of more times, and I think he knew I wasn’t really ready for the dating scene. As time went on, I did start to accept dates. Some went better than others, but I found myself back out in the dating world and feeling like I was sixteen again. All the head games that went on when I was young were still going on now! I was shocked, to say the least. After all, we were not teeny-bobbers anymore and I expected much more than was out there. But, play the game I must.
I soon discovered that one would ask another out just tick someone else off. It all got really old really quickly. I was wanting out but had to go to some parent conference in the southern part of the state that I was obligated to attend. On my way down I stopped at a restaurant to eat dinner and a man walked up to my table and ask if I wasn’t in his home group. I didn’t recognize him at first, then I recalled seeing him making lewd gestures to one of the women. I thought, “oh no, how am I going to get out of this.” We parted ways and said, “see ya’ at the conference.”
Over the span of the weekend, he had taken a couple of meals with me, and in a very gentleman-like manner asked me for a date when we got back home. To my surprise, I couldn’t tell him no. So now, I was going to be stuck going out with this man I didn’t want to go out with.